Mark Megahan
The Florida Man Games returned this year for “Round 2.” Teams from around the state did their best “to prove they have what it takes to join the ranks of the world’s worst superhero.” The contest was inspired by the significant number of news headlines which begin “Florida man…” followed by whatever bizarre activity brought him to the attention of the press.
Florida Man Games
Last year’s “inaugural” Florida Man Games was so successful they had to do it again this year. Round 2 was held on March 1. St. Augustine’s event brought in so many participants and spectators that “organizers have moved Saturday’s event a few miles away to the St. Johns County Fairgrounds.” That way they had “room for more spectators and tailgating.”
The popular Evading Arrest Obstacle Course was back this year, along with the Beer Belly Sumo Wrestling. They also added new games like “Hurricane Party Prep: Grocery Aisle Brawl” and “Human Beer Pong.”
This year, ten teams assembled from all across the state, “from Fort Myers to Pensacola.” Including one team of women, calling themselves the “Ball Busters.” They were out to take the “snakeskin championship belt” from defending champions “team Hanky Spanky.”
The press caught up with 29-year-old Dave & Buster’s technician Croix Bruns, after he got done competing in the weaponized pool noodle competition. The tattooed life-long Florida native didn’t do anything special to train for the competition.
He believes that a “true Florida Man” doesn’t prepare for the games. “They’re just born ready to be great,” Bruns relates. “They’re born ready for the trophy and ready for the title, and each year someone new has to be born for it.”
Who needs the Olympics?
“We’ve got the Olympics and they’ve been around forever,” Bruns notes. “But they don’t have gator tossing.” Another thing you won’t see anywhere else is “a contest where you’ve got to hold your beer and fight someone else at the same time.”
There are more than just the competitions at the Florida Man Games. Spectators “can interact with alligators from Gatorland and ride a mechanical alligator.”
Other highlights of the games are Midget Wrestling Warriors. One of the most popular events was the “lawnmower racing hosted by NASCAR driver Jeffrey Earnhardt.”
Event announcer and emcee Che Durena points out that they try to “embody Florida in a competitive sense.”
“It’s exactly on-brand the way I thought it would be. It’s the right level of grimy and extravagance and debaucherous. It’s exactly what I want. It’s a lot of people day drinking, a lot of people getting sunburnt, a lot of people just partying and acting foolish in the best way.”
This year’s games were even more exciting than last year’s. Next year promises to be still more outrageous than that.
