Mark Megahan
So far, fornicating in micro gravity has been strictly against orders. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened, only that nobody who did it is talking about it. Recently, NASA has come to the realization that sex in space is crucial to a successful Mars mission. Now they need to figure out the best Mars missionary positions.
Micro gravity maneuvers
Anyone who ever put adolescent footprints on a windshield, trying experimental docking maneuvers in the family sedan while avoiding police and trying to beat a curfew, would consider it easy to what’s required in near zero gravity environments.
While officially it’s never been tried because it’s against orders, unofficially, it’s not as fun as it sounds. Getting sufficiently excited can be painful. Humans take the force which keeps us stuck to the planet way too lightly.
As distasteful as it may seem to the Pentagon, space experts have come to the conclusion that sex is “crucial” for any long-haul missions to the Moon and Mars. It will have to be carefully planned if humans are to be off planet for spans of years at a time.
Going down takes on a whole new meaning in orbit or free flight. The biggest problem is that humans evolved here on Earth and our anatomy depends on knowing where “down” is. Also, gravity provides compression forces.
A team of Canadian scientists have been pleading with officials to “embrace the new discipline of space sex study.” Understanding how sex actually works in a low gravity environment “is essential to the success of deep space missions, and building off-world settlements,” the experts report.
They point out that “people going to space for long-durations are currently professional astronauts,” but that won’t last much longer. In the future “it is likely ever more civilians, including couples, will venture into orbit.”
Mitigating the hazards
NASA “has recently admitted it may be time to consider finding a way to explore the subject.” They have no choice about “ensuring crew members’ health and safety in space for long periods of time.” That means “researching ways to help crews work together and remain emotionally prepared during their journey.”
Plus, colonies need babies. What could be better than growing them on the way? Micro Gravity relations could become mandatory.
Along with the basic physical challenges of every action having an equal and opposite reaction, getting busy could have a couple gyrating wildly around the capsule and either injuring themselves or breaking something important.
Special Velcro sheets to ensure continued contact have been suggested. Then there’s the question of those messy fluids. Things don’t drip, they turn into bubbles and float around in zero gravity.
Astronauts have reported that “male arousal” is “challenging” in micro gravity but “technically possible.” If you can handle the headache that comes with it, which tends to spoil the mood.
“We need to bring everyone to the table to holistically address the transdisciplinary challenges of human eroticism in space, and facilitate wellbeing, as we journey to the final frontier,” Judith Lapierre, from Université Laval concludes.
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