Mark Megahan
Elon Musk’s former girlfriend, “Grimes,” a self-proclaimed electronic artist once known as Claire Boucher, is ready to take their breakup to new heights. All the way to a lesbian space colony on Europa. After three years with the founder of SpaceX she gave up on men entirely.
Lesbian love in micro-gravity
Grimes is so desperate to get away from men she wants to set up a “lesbian space commune” on one of Jupiter’s moons. Europa, to be exact.
The breakup happened a while back but folks are still talking about the idea. The concept took flight when she happened to be “in the other room while Musk broke the news about their ‘semi-‘ separation” to a Hollywood gossip rag.
Grimes spent all day thinking of the proper response, then sent the reporter an email with her side of it. “I’ll be colonizing Europa separately from Elon for the lesbian space commune.”
At the time, Uncle Sam had just handed Musk $178 million in change for his SpaceX Europa mission. She’s entitled to some severance palimony.
Grimes notes that Musk’s toxic masculinity had been rubbing her the wrong way for a while. Not only was his company accused of not hiring illegals, he actually dared to tweet that “pronouns suck.” She chided back “this isn’t your heart,” but everyone knew the writing was on the wall. Lesbian life in a space colony 547.85 million miles from men is the only way to go.
Considering that between them, they have the means to make it happen, Elon might design the ship to make her fantasies come true. She starts blushing when she thinks about all the micro-gravity fun they can have on the long trip out to Jupiter.
Gay Space Communism
Grimes didn’t come up with the lesbian space colony idea all by herself. “Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism” is a phrase long “associated with far left movements on the internet.”
Furries and other non-binary types envision “an idealistic society where gender norms have been abolished to such an extent that there is little to no difference between gay and straight.” That’s why all the colonists need to be filthy rich. “Due to automation, luxury is available to all people.”
Not everyone is on the same page with the plan. “Some communities substitute ‘queer‘ for ‘gay‘ as it is perceived as more inclusive.” Since Grimes is paying, she can go all lesbian if she wants.
“Other communities replace ‘Communism‘ with more specific ideologies such as Anarchism.” Grimes hasn’t figured which way she goes on that yet but is down with calling her erotic colony on Europa a “commune.”
Wikipedia even has an entry for “Fully Automated Luxury Communism.” Nobody is clear when “Gay” and “Space” started “being attached to the ideology, though merchandise with ‘Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism‘ appeared on Amazon in the summer of 2015.”
Jupiter’s 4th largest moon has been chosen as a likely candidate for lesbian colonization because it probably has “a possible subglacial water ocean,” which makes it possible “that human life could be sustained on or beneath the surface.“
3 Comments