Mark Megahan
When one of our associates here at WB started booking summer vacation plans for an Alaskan back-country fishing adventure, we started chuckling about don’t let a bear eat your airplane. The story’s been around for a while but that gave us a great excuse to pass it around and share it with everyone.
Bear proof your plane
Original credit for this tale of a bear encounter in the Alaskan wilderness goes to user lz_NorthPole who posted it in the forum of ArmyParatrooper.org back around 2010.
Every so often, it gets dredged back up and passed around because the message is timeless and the warning a serious one, even if it is a hilarious tale. Finding yourself in a similar situation, stranded in the wilderness, might not have such a happy ending.
The adventure started out when a fisherman chartered a small plane to fly into the Alaskan backcountry for some fishing. The big mistake was leaving fresh bait in the plane, which attracted a bear.
Variations on the story claim it wasn’t actual bait left in the plane, merely the “smell” of it, which attracted the hungry ursine. Alaska is one of the few places where bears roam around in record numbers.
Whether there was food in the plane or not, the bear ripped the fuselage of the plane to shreds getting to whatever it could. Two tires must have been awful tasting donuts but they didn’t survive the encounter.
Luckily, the wings survived but there was damage to the tail. Most importantly, nobody in the fishing party was harmed. That was the really close call.
The miracle of duct tape
You don’t get into the business of flying folks out into the Alaskan wilderness without having a few clues about wilderness survival. Along with skills for fighting off a wild and hungry bear, it helps to have friends with another plane, too.
Thankfully, not only was this charter pilot a bad-ass, he was a well connected bad-ass. He radioed a friend to air drop in “new tires, sheet plastic, and three cases of duct tape.”
According to the original post, “the pilot applied the materials, flew the thing home, and arrived safely.” He included the photos to back his story up that a bear really did eat my airplane.
Not only is it plausible, CNET called it “the best use of duct tape I’ve seen in a long time.”
The moral of the story is when you’re packing up the Beechcraft Bonanza with nubile young lovelies itching for some topless fly fishing – along with the scotch, grass and sunscreen make sure to pack lots and lots of duct tape.
Also, make sure whatever kind of bait you decide to use is wrapped up tight to keep the smell from lingering inside your plane to attract a bear. It wouldn’t hurt to make one last check of the interior after you’re unpacked to make sure there aren’t any Cheetos left between the seat cushions or anything.
